I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints...yes, the Mormons.
Sometimes it is hard to stand up for something...especially something you believe that others don't. Either because they lack the knowledge or faith. Some don't grasp it because they have become so learned that they have lost their faith. I have a great faith, and while I have learned many things taking many classes, my faith has only been strengthened. Little did the wonderfully enlightening History professors: Laurie Coe, Dr. Greiert, Dr. McLear, Dr. Trifan, Kim Schutte and others, at MWSU know that as I attended in their classes, they were strengthening my testimony, not only of my knowledge of the scriptures, but of my faith and my church. Everything they taught backed up what I had learned at church and by reading the scriptures. I found it all very interesting. Maybe even odd. I had an appreciation of their knowledge and what it did to my knowledge...and understanding of what I knew.
As the world spins in predicted troubled times, a poem from my youth comes to mind:
Dare to be a Mormon.
Dare to stand alone.
Dare to have a purpose firm.
Dare to make it known.
Yes, I am a Mormon. I have been all of my life. My parents joined the church in April of 1953. I was born a little more than two years later. We moved to Hawaii in 1956, where my dad's love of golf took him to the course on Sunday instead of Church. My parents divorced when I was six, and we moved almost every year after that (my mother was a gypsy in another life...not really, but this is a long story).
I was born with an intense desire to attend church. I felt loved there. In fact it was the only place I felt loved. I yearned to go, and through most of my childhood and youth, my mother would take me, drop me off, and then come and get me. When I was old enough to drive, I took myself. This was not just a Sunday thing. There was Primary during the week, and then MIA when I turned twelve. AND then there was Seminary. From the time I was fifteen until I graduated, I went to Seminary every morning before school. I don't think I learned as much as I could have, but I had that constant desire to be there. Not just seminary, but any church meeting. The spirit was so strong in me to be there. I really didn't have a knowledge of it all, but I had the "feeling." That feeling kept growing. And when I needed it the most, that feeling helped me through one of the darkest periods of my life.
In the middle of the '80's, my whole life came apart. I had four small children and my husband left us. Everything I believed in, everything I knew, was blown apart. I had been through a lot in my life, (something for another note), but this was the turning point in my life. I continued to go to church, pushed by my oldest son a couple of times, where I received strength to go on. But I got out my scriptures and read them. Well, studied them. Pondered them. Tried to figure out what the heck was going on and trying to make some sense of it all. Trying to figure out why I had this "feeling" and why I was drawn to this church. I had been to many others, but none of them made me feel the way I did when I was there. Having moved more than a dozen times, I found that everywhere I went, the church was the same. I had the same feelings, the same desires. The older I got, the more aware I was of that fact, and the more I felt at home each time I walked into a different building when we moved. The more I read, the more I prayed to understand things. The more blows in life I took, the more strength I received. It was the most awesome thing.
In January of 2000, I started taking classes at MWSU. History finally fascinated me. You see, it had a lot to do with my scripture reading. I wanted to know. I wanted to understand the prophecies I had read about. These classes helped me in more ways than those professors will ever know. I was enlightened. It was AWESOME. And even though the church wasn't in any of their discussions per se, it was to me. I left classes strengthened in what I knew to be true. My testimony grew.
I know now what I have searched my whole life to understand. I know why I have this "feeling" and it's awesome. I am able to stand for something and not only feel it, but know why.
I know that there are troubled times ahead. I know what's coming. I've read about it.
(NOTE: if any of you are checking my spelling or grammar, I apologize. I'm just writing from my heart.)
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