So, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. I guess it’s because of what I hear, as opposed to what I know. I hear things like, “He’d make me happy,” “I’d be happier if I was married,” “I would be so happy if I had _____,” “If I had a different job,” and I’m sure you get the drift. People confuse “happiness” with “pleasure.” Happiness sought through pleasure…isn’t lasting. Pleasure is fleeting. Happiness is eternal. If you are not truly happy from within, changing those things will not bring happiness, at least not lasting happiness. It will only bring momentary pleasure. Until you are not happy with the changes and want something/someone else.
Happiness comes from within. If you are generally happy, then the rest doesn’t matter. What do I know about this? Well, I have been dealing with depression for over 40 years. Despite the fact that as a teenager, friends called me “smiley” because I smiled all the time, I was hiding the depression. In 1986, my world started to crumble, and my depression hit an all time high; to the point that I was suicidal for years. During that time, I found an awesome, incredible therapist. I told him that if my marriage could just be put back together, I would be “happy.” To which he said, “Only YOU can make you happy. Just as you control your other emotions, you control you. YOU make YOU happy.”
Happiness isn’t just handed to you. It comes from within and YOU have to make it. I had to start each morning by telling myself I was “happy” and then going from minute to minute actually, consciously being “happy.” It took effort, lots of effort. Each challenge, each trial, each difficulty, HAD to be met with a smile; HAD to be met with some positive concept. There is always something, someone…who will try to rob you of your happiness. DON’T let it. DON’T let them. There will always be “that boss,” “that co-worker,” “that person,” “that job.” Don’t let your surroundings deprive you of your happiness. Make your surroundings happy. YOU be the “happy” in your surroundings. YOU bring the happiness to life. “Bloom where you are planted.”
Sometime you have to learn to accept your circumstances…no matter what they are. Because of life and choices, sometimes beyond my control, I have had to “make the most” of the situation. I’ve had jobs I didn’t like, but had to have because I needed to pay the bills. Do I want to work? NO! I’d love to sit home and bake, or quilt, or sew, or knit, or maybe travel, or a million other things. I would love to have someone hug me, or watch a movie with, or play a game. At the moment my life is what it is…and I am not able to change it at the moment. I am thankful I have a job, especially when so many people are without one. I am glad that I enjoy it. I’m glad I can pay my bills. I’m happy. I have had many co-workers say, “I love working with you…you are always so happy. It makes coming to work fun.” Is my life perfect…NO! BUT, I’m happy. I choose to be happy. I make the most of each part of my life and each part of my day. What ever I’m doing, I choose to be happy doing it.
I have learned these challenges, trials, difficulties in life “will give us experience and will be for our good” and “they come to pass.” Life goes on. Don’t look for reasons as to WHY you aren’t happy, learn to be happy.
I heard an “old” song at work today; from my high school days and I thought it fit this topic. So I’m including it. If you don’t know the tune, check it out on the web. It’s a great song and quite apropos…
BEAUTIFUL….by Carole King
You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes, you will
That you're beautiful as you feel
Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing
I've got nothing to do but watch the passers-by
Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing
And they don't see it showing, why do I?
You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes, you will
That you're beautiful as you feel
I have often asked myself the reason for sadness
In a world where tears are just a lullaby
If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness
Maybe not, oh, but we can only try
You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes, you will
That you're beautiful as you feel
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