16 August 2016

I moved a lot growing up...something no one has tried to explain or make excuses for; fourteen schools and as many, if not more, homes. While I learned a lot about many cultures and people, I grew to hate it more and more each time it happened.

Seems that I am destined to move again; I knew it was coming, I've known for a long time. I've lived out of boxes for the last few years. Yes, it's a drag, but someone has to do it. HAH! Anyway...time seems to be closing in on this move. Last week a friend told me about a home two streets over from where I am now. We all have dreams, hopes, desires, etc. While this isn't any of those, it IS something I can handle for the most part. For the last few nights I haven't slept much; and when I wake up, I am anxious and sick to my stomach. I haven't been sure what it was, but one morning I realized it had to do with "moving" and everything involved with it...and I pondered all the moves in my life, and hated them all over again. At least most all of my things are already in boxes...makes things easier. However, I'm going to have to open those boxes. I'm going to have to face life, the past, the present and the future. I'm going to have to sort through the past. I have boxes here, I have boxes in storage here and I have the rest of my things in storage in Utah…about 5 hours from here.

The last home I owned had six bedrooms and five bathrooms; a big Victorian home built in the 1880’s, there were three stories above the ground and a basement…which the kids wouldn’t go in. HAHAHA! Whatever. It was wonderful for the most part…but far from my treasures. Now I am close to my treasures and have been without a home for 8 years.

The inevitable will come, the sorting through “things” which I’ve had in my possession…some for a relatively short time, and then there are the things which will be hard to deal with. I had to deal with some of those a few years ago. The kids asked, “Mom! What the heck are you doing with this?!?!?” As tears welled up in my eyes, I said, “I kept hoping things would change…I didn’t want to get rid of them just in case.”

Well, this “new” home will be a third of the size of my last home. Much will have to go. I’ve pondered the things in storage and in my mind it has been easy to say…THAT is going…but then there are things that I can’t seem to part with…I will probably need some impartial help…those old Beatle cards…maybe they are worth something. They are like baseball cards; they came in a package with gum, but I always threw the gum away. I have a stack of those cards. Most of them are black and white, but there are a few that are color. There might be 75 of them. A bassinet I’ve had since I was about 8…not sure where it came from, but I have 1960 Eloise Vogue “Baby Dear” doll which fits perfectly in it. She belonged to my Great Aunt Cora…she and her husband…my Uncle Gundy, never had any children. They wanted children, but never did. Sixty years of random things…and it will be interesting to say the least.

Moving makes me melancholy, hurts my heart and tears at my mind. The thoughts, the memories all come rushing past my eyes…and lately have been leaking all over. But, there are things I know I will find and be surprised. Things I’ve forgotten and will either bring a smile or a tear. Who knows? It will be an adventure for sure.

So, when I saw this a bit ago, about the past, present and future, this is what came to mind. Just thought I would share something different. "Cleaning out the past...Packing up the present...And preparing for a much better future..."