Before I being tonight's tale, let me first remind the readers that I work at a "craft" store. I do NOT work at Victoria's Secret. I do NOT work on the "Strip" and I DO NOT work at one of those "adult" stores found in the seedier parts of town. I work at a respectable...or so we like to think...craft store.
I'm combining two nights in one writing for a couple of reasons. Sometimes we have sales where you can buy one and get one for free or a penny. Sometimes it's buy one and get one half off. Sometimes there is a percentage off of what you are buying. There is ALWAYS information on the "SALE" signs. ALWAYS. DID I mention there is ALWAYS information on the signs? There will be dates of when the sale is valid. There will be sizes for the items included in the sale. There might be "colors" of the items included. The easiest way to find out what item is on sale is to "READ" said sale sign. It's VERY easy. WHY bring two carts full of merchandise, tell the cashier, "This is all on sale, so that better ring up on sale." Ummmm.....NO. Sometimes, rarely, the computer is wrong. It's always lovely when a customer rips you a new one because they have failed to read the sign. These aren't novels...they are "SALE" signs and for the most part, are very simple to figure out. This is not rocket science. It's a "SALE" sign.
A female customer came to the register...her husband begins to converse with the cashier and the wife says, "Be quiet. YOU are the husband and when I tell you to speak, THEN and only then will you say something." MY eyes are like saucers! Oh my gosh. I was shaking my head. And do you know, he quite talking and didn't say another word until she said something to him, and even then it wasn't very nice. WOWZERS!!!
This next item for your reading pleasure gave me the opportunity to write up a little report on. A female customer came to my register with a bag from another store. She put the bag on the counter and wanted to return the four items in the bag. She finally took them out of the bag and I looked at the quizzically. There are thousands of items in the store, and I know most all of them. These did NOT look familiar, nor did they have a brand which we carry. I asked for a receipt. "I don't have it. My mom bought them and told me they came from Michaels and to take them back." I scanned the items with the RF gun. "Item not found." Hmmmm....really?!?!?! So, I tell her, "These weren't purchased here. We don't carry this brand." She says, "My mom said they came from here." Me: "Well, I'm sorry. We don't carry this brand." AND then she asks, "Well can't I return them here?" "NO...we don't carry this brand." We have items just like them...they were jewelry pliers. So, she walks to the jewelry section to see IF I'm right. About half an hour later she is back up with a friend. This female gets two 39cent sponge brushes and pays for them with a "return card" which has a balance of over $95.00!!! Which means they have scammed the store before!
An interesting woman says she bought some "wood" birdhouses for her grandsons to put together. "Do you have any glue to glue them together?" I take her to the "adhesive" wall. Now there is glue there to glue just about anything together. I get the wood glue and hand her a bottle and she says, "This is the same Elmer's wood glue that came in the kits. Is it going to work?" Hmmmmm....so I get her the Elmer's Wood Glue MAX and tell her that it should take care of things. It's for the outdoors, etc. She's happy and off she goes.
There was an interesting to-do in the kids activity aisle. A woman and her two children were opening several of the kits. I went and questioned if everything was alright. The box was an activity kit to make lip gloss etc. BUT three of the four boxes they opened had nail polish and fake nails. THIS was interesting. AND it wasn't the same brand as was on the box. One box had the right stuff, which they bought. We, the MOD and I, were still pondering this. The only thing we could figure was last Christmas, someone wanted the lip gloss and put it in the cheaper boxes. This is a common thing with customers. Really...it is.
AND can I just say here and now that I will be SO glad when the "summer" kid activities are gone. There are four hula hoops left and they seem to be in twenty-five places by the time the night is over.
OH MY GOSH! IF you have every watched the OLD Newhart show, you will appreciate this. A guy asked for some help and we directed him to the area he needed to go...unfinished wood. He had a bit of a hygiene issue. As I strolled by the aisle where he was, there was another guy with him. There appearance was startling. They looked SO familiar. AND then it came to me. I immediately said, in my head, "HI! I'm Larry and this is my brother Darryl!" THAT'S what they looked like. They were very nice, but the similarities were there. hehehehehe
Then we had the "classic" theft. Sometimes this involves women...sometimes couples. It always bugs me. ALWAYS. They come in with a stroller, put things in said stroller...and leave. NO, they do NOT pay for what they are taking...I'm sure they believe it's a gift from all of us to them.
And then there is the four square foot area of glitter all over the floor. I have a friend I work with, he knows who he is, who HATES glitter. Well...it was everywhere. It's bad enough during the holidays. Nothing is sacred. Everything is covered with glitter. My bathroom rug has glitter on it. There is glitter on my cat. My bed. My car. Everything and anything. Glitter is the bane of my existence at times.
Two females come in and one asks if we have "Pearl Pins." I ask, "Do you mean corsage pins?" She looks at me with a blank stare, then says, "You know, the needles with the pearls on the end." At this point...pun could be intended...I realize that not only do they not know what a corsage is or a corsage pin, they don't know what needles are either. Since the wedding section was so close to where we were, I went over, got the corsage pins and gave them to her. You would have thought I gave her a thousand dollars! She yelled over to the woman she was with, thanked me profusely and they just giggled like they were on a girls night out. I smiled and was happy to help.
While up at the register, trying to finish untangling the last skein of yarn from a clearance bin, this guy walks up slowly to the register and says, "Do I just walk up?" I smiled and said, "Well, sometimes we grab your hand and walk you up, but not often." We all laughed and that was fun. There are a LOT of customers who are fun and enjoyable to help and ring up.
The next woman was SO fun. She wanted to know where the masquerade masks were. I told her they were actually in two different aisles and took her to both of them and she says, "You mean I have to make them???" I looked at her, smiled, and said, "You know, this IS a craft store. We sell crafting items to make things." AND she laughs. I laugh and she says, "OH....I know. I'm just not very crafty." So, I show her feathers, rhinestones, glitter (EGADS) glue pens, etc and give her a ton of ideas. I even suggest, yes I did...PINTEREST! I also told her that in a week or two the Halloween masks which are already made up will be in and ask her, "When do you need this mask?" AND then the dreaded answer came, which I figured, but was hoping it wouldn't be..."Tomorrow night." AND then we both laugh again. "Well," I said, "It looks like you have your work cut out for you." Then this big guy appeared. I asked IF he needed any help? He said he didn't, that he was with her. I said, "OH...she has a LOT of stress issues at the moment...you might want to give her some space." Then we all laughed. They were a fun couple.
Two fourteen/fifteen year old boys took the cap off of a HUGE bottle of hot pink paint and were squirting each other with it...in their hair, on their shirts, floor, etc...and then the MOD saw them. They went off to the bathroom, where they proceeded to get hot pink paint all over in there. The MOD heard them, banged on the door and told them to leave the store. They said they wanted their mom! Good, says the MOD and off they went. The mom asked, "Was this an accident?" OH GEEZE!!! I get SO tired of parents who think their children NEVER do anything wrong!!!
And interesting young female was buying some art supplies and wanted to use a coupon. It "appeared" to be a Michaels coupon, but wouldn't scan off of her phone. So, the cashier copied the numbers and typed them in. That didn't work. MOD to the front please. The lovely darling had "doctored" the coupon by putting the Michaels logo on a JoAnn coupon. It was a 60% coupon, which we don't have. JoAnn's does though. Learned something new about customers with this lovely young person.
Remember I said I work at a craft store...a craft store. We get singles, couples, teens, children, families, grandparents, etc. A craft store. Keep that in mind. I know this will be controversial, but just keep this in mind. A woman decides to nurse her baby. She takes down her shirt, both sides, unclips both sides of her nursing bra...yes, both breasts are present and accounted for...in plain sight, and the baby has latched on to one side...the other side is well in view. WELL in view. She proceeds to shop and travel through the store. People are interesting aren't they????
And then the "female in the skirt." On the headsets, we describe individual customers by what they are wearing, doing, etc. This one was THE "female in the skirt." I'm guessing, and I'm fairly accurate at guessing widths and lengths of fabric, that this skirt, from waist to hem, was all of 10"...just barely covered what it needed to. NOW, the reason I know for a fact this was a female shopper was, when she bent over, there was NO question about whether she was female or male. Everything was right there for you to see. AND when she left, the wind caught what little there was of her little pleated skirt and blew it every which way...and it was of little concern to her. People are interesting aren't they???
And so goes our two for one. Every time I work I leave the store pondering the nights entertainment. It varies from night to night. The people change, but the stories are the same. We laugh, we talk, we walk to our cars and we are thankful we know how to read "SALE" signs...that the glitter will be gone by next June, only to return next July. Did I mention we have the Halloween Lemax set up? The Halloween crafts? ALL of the Fall flowers? OH...and there are some Thanksgiving window clings in. AND did I mention Christmas will be in the end of September??? It's late this year. I'm VERY thankful. VERY thankful. I want to enjoy it.
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