It’s ALL perspective.

I know you think you heard what I said, but is what I said what you heard?

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Alan Greenspan

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”  Robert McCloskey

"What we've got here is failure to communicate" First spoken by Strother Martin to Paul Newman in the movie Cool Hand Luke

When you hear something, you have to listen. Listen to the person. Think about these questions as you listen. Who is that person? Why are you listening to them? Do you have to listen to them? Is that person important to you? Do you care what they are saying? Do you understand what they are trying to say to you? Is this a group setting? Are they generalizing? Are emotions involved? Will what they said personally affect you? Will what they said make any difference in your life tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Ten years from now?

Is what they’ve said hurt you? Is what they’ve said bothered you? Why? IF so, what will you do? Should you do something? Will that hurt others? Are you taking something out of context? Is what you heard what they meant? What have you learned which has given you this perspective? Do you share the same perspective?

Your perspective depends on your age, educations, experiences, culture, values, family, religion, political viewpoint, gender, nationality, etc. It also depends on mine. We may have the same culture, but different values. We may have the same religion, yet different political viewpoints. We may be the same age, but have had varied experiences. We may come from the same family, yet our religion and education vary.

I read of so many people who are “offended” by what they hear and see that I’m stunned by the constant outcries of “that offends me!!!” WHY does it have to offend you? I am constantly bombarded by things I see and hear which offend me. Yet, I haven’t gotten in anyone’s face and protested, asked for symbols, etc. to be removed. I haven’t shot anyone. I haven’t looted my neighborhood. Why are some people affected and other not? Why do some people react one way and someone else hearing or seeing the same thing reacts in the complete opposite way?

It’s because of the way we have been taught to think. The way we have been taught to rationalize a situation. It’s because we have learned how to deal with adverse situations or in some cases not deal with the situation. First, consider the source of the offense; it may be you. It’s very possible the person who said something meant no offense, yet you took it.

When I was a child there was a very common phrase: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” A little history of that from Wikipedia…I know…not that reliable, but I’m using it.

“Sticks and Stones" is an English language children's rhyme. It persuades the child victim of name-calling to ignore the taunt, to refrain from physical retaliation, and to remain calm and good-natured.

First appearance

It is reported^[1] to have appeared in The Christian Recorder of March 1862, a publication of the African Methodist Episcopal Church, where it is presented as an "old adage" in this form:

Sticks and stones will break my bones
But words will never harm me.

The phrase also appeared in 1872, where it is presented as advice in Tappy's Chicks: and Other Links Between Nature and Human Nature, by Mrs. George Cupples.^[2] The version used in that work runs:

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

Like I said, some don’t like Wikipedia, but as it says, it did persuade me to ignore any name calling. I refrained from physical retaliation and I remained calm and good-natured. I keep a positive attitude. IF someone says something to me which I don’t like, I ignore it. I’m not one to hold a grudge. I’m not one to get mad or even stay mad. Possibly because of the things I have experienced in life, I recognize these things in other people; this may give me an advantage which allows me to not let what others say bother me. We all have bad days. We all go through things. We all have baggage.

How can being offended help in any situation? I don’t believe it can. Once someone chooses to be offended, the line is drawn. Then they drag others into the situation. Others who may or may not have been involved; others who may not even have the same opinion, but they “think” they know what’s going on, because they’ve been “told” something, and now you have an issue which is SO out of control, no one can reel it in. Before you know it, it’s on the internet; others, who know absolutely nothing about it at all, weren’t there, but get caught up in the excitement of it all, jump on a bandwagon which is out of control. Pretty soon you have a “group” who taken a stand for a misunderstanding…and it’s all out of control. The next step is laws are changed, people are changed, life as you knew it is changed.

I know there are others like me. I know there are people out there who hear something and ignore it. Or they delete it. I know there are others out there who have the same perspective I do on many things. We stand for the right. We help where we can. We understand life. We know that there are things to get worked up over, which are few and far between, and then there is everything else.

By the way, this isn’t limited to what you hear; it also has to do with what you think you see…or what you think you see others are doing. Check things out. Don’t jump to conclusions. Give the other person a chance. Don’t get your panties in a wrinkle. Keep your shirt on. Be respectful and forgiving. None of us are perfect. We all have a path to walk, but why carry that axe to grind with you all the time. Pick your battles and don’t start a war over something you think you understand, or think you heard, when in fact that isn’t what was meant or said.
It’s ALL perspective.