13 December 2025 

12+13=25 

OH! Math Nerd needs to find something to do. Writer is busy.

A week ago, or so, a statement was made. The statement doesn’t really matter, and those of us in The Hermitage who heard it processed it FAR differently than what was said, for a completely different reason. This was not an intentional oversight, or to disagree with or disregard what was said, BUT as we have aged, it meant something different to us. WE processed it differently and wondered why. So, ALL of us in The Hermitage have been mulling this phrase over in our mind for the last week or so. Each of us has come up with many thoughts. It has been like an out-of-control fire of sorts. Correspondent even called to discuss it with Queen’s brother. He remembers and feels the same way as MANY of us in The Hermitage.

The phrase used was “special event.” At 70 we are all pondering just WHAT a “special event” IS? We thought about memories from the last 70 years, where we’ve lived, what we’ve done/not done, etc. Historian has been called upon, as well as Queen, Party Planner, Chef, Baker, Activities Chairwoman, Shopper, Graduate, ETC! 

Growing up, we were far from most all of the relatives. Who are we kidding? We didn’t even live near any relatives until we were in our mid-teens, and even then it was a 20 minute drive. Yes, that’s close, but when you don’t drive, it isn’t, and Chauffeur wasn’t driving quite yet. IF there were any special events, over the years, we were not a part of them. 

So, just what might be a special event? Birth of a child? Birthdays? Baptisms? Graduations? Weddings? Anniversaries? Funerals? Holidays? New Years? Y2K? Getting out of a hospital? Buying a house? Buying a car? Going on a date? Going to a sporting event? Going to a concert? Going to a recital? Getting engaged? When you get together with family? When family comes from out of town? ALL of these “could” be a “special event.”

Then Chef, Baker, Shopper, Decorator, Photographer, and others pondered WHAT goes with all of these “special events?” The list is FAR TOO long to even go there, suffice to say food, drinks, games, and decorations. If not more. THIS is where Correspondent called Queen’s brother. 

“Cary, what do you remember about any of these special events from our childhood?” His reply was the same as Queen’s when she was asked. “Nothing. We did nothing.” Queen and her brother remember “celebrating” their birthdays, maybe, three to four times each over the years. Maybe less. IF anything was done, cake was part of it. Rarely was a photo taken. By rarely, Historian has seen maybe one. We could remember two weddings we went to that weren't for a parent. We can’t remember going to any friends’ birthdays. We may have gone to a funeral or two. Each of us were baptized; no big deal was made, and no photos taken. Queen and her brother both graduated. There was no party and no photos taken. THIS IS NOT for anyone to throw a pity party for us. THIS IS NOT why Writer is writing, OR why we are even discussing this, or pondering it in The Hermitage. We did not grow up around “special events” of any kind really. We both vaguely remember where we were for any of the holidays. We went trick-or-treating maybe three or four times. We never carved any pumpkins. So, when the term “special events” came up a few weeks ago, it sent our minds on a trip down that memory lane. Who we were with, what we ate/drank, where we were, etc. Photographer was rarely, if ever there. The photos are all in our minds. That’s it. That’s all. 

THEN we got to thinking about WHAT was in our fridge. “Cary, do you remember soda ever being in our house?” He said exactly what Queen remembered. THIS is why Historian and Correspondent phoned him. They weren’t quite sure about Queen’s answers. Cary replied, “No. There was never soda in the house.” He also said that there were cookies once in a while, like Christmas, but rarely any other times. Baker started baking at age 10, so when allowed, she did make some. There were never any desserts, popsicles, or anything else like that. Candy was only present at Christmastime. It was usually fudge. There were rarely any snacks for us. BUT there were “other” things. In the “early” years, before Queen was 6, the parents would have poker parties on Friday nights, or entertain guests from the “mainland.” There were “Hors d'oeuvres” of all kinds, dips and chips, and drinks of all kinds. By drinks, there was whiskey, bourbon, scotch, rum, gin, brandy, beer, etc. Cary and Queen BOTH remember asking to try what we thought was “soda” one of those nights, and dad gave us both a small glass of clear liquid. OH MY GOSH!!! IT was horrible. Tonic water. Nasty. They also remember Bing Crosby buying them both an orange Nehi at the Pro-Am Golf Tournament in Kauai when they were children. But in their years at home there was no sodas, no chips, no snacks, etc. We ate breakfast, lunch and dinner. That was it. Once in a while there was ice cream, but that wasn’t frequent either. When we went out to dinner, which was rare, we DID get to have a Shirley Temple. 

Growing up, Queen’s children had a somewhat different life. Shopper would buy sodas when we would go to spend the day at the lake. But having them in the house all the time wasn’t a thing. They had ice cream, cookies, etc. now and then, but not every night. Snacks and such were infrequent as well. They were always outside playing, so they rarely ate between meals. They did have birthday parties, graduations, baptisms, etc. all with a LOT of party food and photos. We also had HUGE super bowl parties. At least for a few years. 

Now at 70, recalling all of this we have a few thoughts. Our first thought is this, and it comes from the accident in September, as well as our birthday in June. Those of us in The Hermitage have a quiet life. Just waking up in the morning is now a “special event,” and we are thankful. No, we don’t throw a party, but we do constantly give thanks. Especially when we DO go somewhere, and return to The Hermitage safely. And we rarely go anywhere… Church, The Temple, and the marketplace. SO anytime we see others, especially family and those from out of town, or go somewhere, or do something, IT IS a “special event.” It is SO special to us. We delight in it. We are thankful and blessed. We celebrate it. Another thought comes from a talk by Elder Uchtdorf titled Your Potential, Your Privilege. Don’t delay. Don’t wait to celebrate. Every day is a blessing and gift. Don’t wait to use the good china. Don’t wait to wear that special outfit. Don’t wait to do anything. Enjoy life and live each day. Each day can be a “special event.” This is NOT to say you should over-do it, or indulge too much. Remember moderation in all things. Also, not all of us see things the same way. Our experiences, thoughts, understandings, and reactions can differ greatly.