Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Overacheiver SUPER Mom/Woman

My life has never been dull. Ever. As a child growing up, we moved every year. I went to 14 different schools. I didn't watch much TV...I played outside, read, designed clothes for paper dolls, made clothes for my Barbie and baby dolls. Oh...once in awhile I did homework. I've also made clothes for myself since I was 12. I rode my bike all over creation when I was a teenager. My gosh, some days riding at least ten miles or more. Sometimes with a couple of friends...but just sometimes. Even though I was active, I spent my time alone. Wherever I was, I was alone, but doing something. Always busy, rarely idle.
Things haven't changed much...
When I got married, I filled the first few months unpacking boxes. When the piano arrived, I was thankful for the solace I would get from playing. That is something I have always been thankful for. No matter what my mood, I could play and it brought such peace. I miss my piano...maybe this summer we will reunite. =)
Even though this overachiever thing was somewhat present in my youth, it didn't really kick in until I had children...growing up, I just slowly added "achievements" to my repertoire. First the basics: drawing, sewing, embroidery, crocheting, knitting, weaving, jewelry making...until now, 50 years later, my list has come to include, but isn't limited to: advanced crocheting, knitting, one-stroke and tole painting, scrap-booking, card making, beading, wood crafts, calligraphy and decorative lettering, stained glass painting, latch hook, counted cross-stitch, embroidery, crewel, needlepoint and plastic canvas, quilting, drawing, sewing, decoupage, flower arranging, jewelry making, cake decorating, framed wall decor, origami, etching, felt crafts and other general crafts, t-shirt painting and decorating, decorating in general, architectural drawing, landscaping and gardening, baking, cooking, genealogy and family history, writing, auto repair to some extent, various other mechanics (such as lawn mowers, weed whackers, etc), general repairs around the house (such as rewiring lamps, toasters, outlets, replacing toilets, etc)...and never being afraid to try some other new thing.
So, with all of these "achievements" and knowledge, I had to do something with it. Sort of. I had children. By the time I had my fourth child, the oldest was 5 1/2 and the other two were not quite 2 and 4. I took on the four children next door as well as one across the street. Everywhere I went I had 9 children...two that were six, three that were 4, two - that were two years old, and the two babies. Here's where the overachiever part starts....They went with me everywhere. I was a mother quail, herding these children to the market, library, DMV, park, church meetings, and anywhere else I had to go on any certain day. OH...there were also two other children I watched for about 1/2 an hour before school. Did I get things done. I was always making clothes. Matching dresses for the girls and myself. Matching shirts for the boys and Bruce. Costumes for various things. I loved making the costumes and they had some awesome ones. Callings at church and visiting teaching. Baking and decorating cakes for birthdays and cookies for holidays. Doing laundry and cleaning. Until the late 80's. Then the kids did their own laundry. When the girls decided to do the "Punky Brewster" thing and wear at least two pairs of socks a day...which was twenty pairs by the end of the school week, not including the ten pairs the boys wore, I said that was enough...and they began doing their own laundry. =) We also had "school" time. I would sit them all at the table and teach them to write, draw, etc. We had reading time after lunch. Then they would all take a nap. They learned manners and to help out. We had fun. I was insane! No, not really. I loved it. All of my life I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to be the best mom and have a wonderful time.
As the kids grew, there were other demands. Life changed. When their dad moved on, I had to learn to do other things. For the most part, out of necessity, and for another part, lack of funding. The toilet in the front bathroom cracked...somehow, we never knew how, but it needed to be replaced. Not wanting to "bother" anyone, I went out and bought one, and replaced it. I became thankful for the "DYI" books I had purchased.
There was never a dull moment in our home. Maybe we were all ADD or ADHD...or WHATEVER, but we were all, always busy. There were piano lessons, clogging lessons, swimming lesson, for all of them. There were recitals, concerts, baseball games, football games, swim meets, etc.
I was an organizer. The five of us would hold family council. Part of it would entail gripes, etc. Part of it was planning our week. Another part is where we would plan out our menus. Each of the kids would plan four meals for dinner. Write down what was needed for those meals, and then we would make a list, go through the coupons and then we would ALL go to the market. Each of them would have a cart. One for meats and produce. One for frozen things, etc. Once for canned goods and such. One for misc. items. They learned the "art" of shopping and buying. Which was more economical, better for you, better buy. They were always in "class". Life became a learning ground where I was always teaching them something. At the park, it was different plants. That happened almost everywhere there were plants/trees/bushes, etc. They learned different breeds of dogs, horses, and all the animals. At the beach, we went to the tide pools and they learned about that. I took every opportunity to teach them any thing I could. I loved it. We traveled to all kinds of places and did all sorts of things. It was great. I LOVED every minute of it and wouldn't change a thing.
When they were in high school, we had proms, home-comings, etc. It wasn't often, but wasn't unusual for Jenny to get up on the morning of the dance and say she hadn't found a dress and we needed to get fabric. She knows what I am capable of and was not and is not afraid to ask me to do something on the spur of the moment. While a small part of me is apprehensive and wonders, "What the heck is she thinking", a huge part of me is up for the challenge. We would go to the fabric store, get the patten, fabric, etc...go home, cut, sew and be ready for the dance that night.
THIS is the purpose for writing this. Fifteen, plus years have passed since this time, and while I am a lot older, a larger part of me thinks, "what the heck" and yet I am still up for the challenge. Wednesday, February 16th, about 10:00 pm, Jenny and Ashley came over with some fabric and patterns. No, they didn't need the dress the next day. AND Jenny just wanted me to "help" her make the dress..."when could I get with her to do it?" EGADS!!! I work 12 plus hours a day with two jobs and she rarely has time for anything. To get together would be next to impossible. So, the overachiever in me said, "Just leave it here and I will do it."
The next morning before leaving for work at 7:30 I laid out the dress. I had washed the fabric the night before. Then between jobs, I cut the dress out. This was Thursday. Friday morning before leaving for work at 7:30, I cut out the lining for the dress. Then after work on Friday I went to get the petticoat fabric from Jenny at her work. I got home and started sewing the dress at five; stopping for an hour to fetch a zipper from the store. They arrived about 8:00 that evening. I was just finishing the petticoat. Ashley tried on the dress and LOVED it! "Why don't you sew for people???" EGADS!!! She is funny! As they left at 9:30, I left to go out and eat with friends/coworkers from Michaels!
All of the kids, at various times call me to do something they KNOW I can do. They are not above asking the virtually impossible of me. I don't think they would ask anyone else. They just know or figure I can do it. AND the overachiever SUPER mom/woman is up for the challenge. Most of the time I pull it off. Jessica has asked me several times to come and help her with some project, and I'll go over after working all day and help her till after midnight. I believe this is what a mother does...or at least the overachiever SUPER mom/woman does... =) AND I don't mind. I'm thankful to be needed and thankful they still look to me to help them. It's awesome. The boys ask too...and Katie.
I am also the overachiever worker. At Michaels, because there isn't a craft in there that I don't do, I know where almost everything is...as long as they haven't moved it the night before, which happens now and again, and I have to hunt for it. My coworkers count on me to know where something is. The customers count on me to know or help them find things. Especially those I know. Now, at the school where I am working, they are finding out that I "know" how to do things...and I am quickly being asked to do various things.
AND what do I get in return???? Well, some of the adjectives that family, friends and customers use to describe me are: Awesome, the Bomb (at first I wasn't sure about this), incredible, wonderful, smart, fun, helpful, hard-working, great, marvelous, etc. One customer, after a long search for something she wanted, cried when I found it. That was a bit over-whelming. She thanked me profusely. I just love to help others. I love doing. I love serving others in whatever way I can. Since I have taken the time to learn so many things, I guess the overachiever in me gets a kick out of seeing if I can do it.
So, here's the kicker...I've wondered this now for some time. This is who I am. I'm not this way to impress anyone. Most people I meet on a daily basis don't even know these things. They are characteristics and traits that God blessed me with. I am thankful to Him for allowing me to know and do these things. I am who I am because of Him. I help where I can, do what I can and go on my way. I am thankful to be appreciated. It's nice to have others think I am amazing...even though I know from whence my amazingness comes from. Somewhere, before I came here, I guess I signed up for all of this. I must have made a promise. But did I promise to do it without a husband? Why, If I am so darned awesome, would he leave me with four little children? Why did I have to raise them alone? AND why if I am so amazing has someone else not jumped into my life. This is the puzzle I've been pondering....any thoughts????