10 January 2025

Writer is having a difficult time, as are the rest of us in The Hermitage. Queen was born in California, and all of us have spent time living or visiting in Southern California for the past, almost 70 years. We all have SO many memories, and as we have watched the fires burning, prayed for everyone there, and prayed for those working hard to protect and take care of the fires and people, we are heartbroken. We can't do anything. Sadly, we vividly remember when they used to do "fire breaks" on the hillsides and mountains. We lived in the Santa Monica mountains, "fire breaks" were everywhere. We know why they quit doing them, and since that time, these fires have burned uncontrollably. Do we think they screwed up? You bet. For years now, we have seen the devastation. But do they go back to making the fire breaks? Nope. And we are heartbroken. 

We think about those who suffered in North Carolina from the floods. MANY are still sleeping in make-shift areas, tents, etc. We pray for them. We are heartbroken for them. 

We think about those who are in ice/snow storms that are breaking records as well. We are praying for them.

The devastation, just in our country, is sad. We are doing all that we can do from where we are. We are watching for those to let us know they are at least safe. 

Organizer made a chart a week ago. She also made a LONG list of things that need to be; fixed/repaired, finished, built, or taken care of as needed. She has given everyone their fair warning about what she wants accomplished everyday, so that we all accomplish our year goals. Most of us actually think we can do this. And so it has begun!

Scullery Maid was very busy Monday cleaning up from the Family Dinner the night before. Chef and Baker outdid themselves, and it was great! 

Chauffeur took Shopper to a few places. She found gas for $3.07 at a MEGA-SUPER guild! Then they were off to a SUPER guild for some needed supplies. They found eggs! They were $6.00 for a dozen, but we found them. 

Gardener spent some time in the south 40 removing rocks and weeds. She will be ready to plant things in a couple of months. She isn't sure what, but time will tell.

Ms Maintenance repaired a 45 year old rocking chair! She couldn't do it before as one of the spindles was in storage. However, she made a tool to help her with the holes, got the glue and it is back together. She also put wheels on an old wagon that had crappy plastic wheels that were brittle from the heat, and replaced them with metal rimmed wheels. Works great and she was able to cross off two things on her list.

Quilter and Seamstress finished an almost 50 year old project. In 1976 they started a quilt. It is an Around the World quilt made from fabrics they have used over the last 50+ years. They had the corners and center started, but life happened. Four children came to The Hermitage, clothes needed to be made, children taken here and there, work, etc. The quilt was put away...UNTIL 2001. The Queen Mum came to visit and asked, "What projects do you have that we can finish?" Out came the quilt, and boxes of fabric. Two inch squares were cut. The Queen Mum told Seamstress, "YOU sit there, and I will cut the squares and give them to you. No need to get up." After hours at the machine, Seamstress got up. This was questioned. She said, "I'm going to the bathroom!!!" After a few days, the top was FINALLY finished!!! Seamstress had Chauffeur take her to a home where another Quilter machine quilted it for her. Then the quilt disappeared into a box and ended up in storage for 15+ years. In September of 2024, a box came off the truck marked, Around the World quilt! WOOHOO!!! Finally! The box was brought in and opened! DANG...IT...ALL!!! The edges weren't bound! What the heck?!?!? On Wednesday, Quilter and Seamstress cut and sewed almost 500 inches of binding on the quilt. A year ago they swore they would NEVER make another quilt as big as the one they had just finished. It was almost 10' square! Well, they had to eat their words. The Around the World quilt IS 10' square, each side is 120" and there are 4,225 little squares! As Seamstress sewed, looking at all the fabrics brought back SO many memories of sewing clothes for the family. Dresses for Queen, and the girls, shirts for the boys and the past King, etc. A few hours later and the quilt was done. FINALLY!!! After almost 50 years! Another thing completed and crossed off the list.

Disciple helped with journal making with the Activity Girls. The boys joined us. Hmmm...The Temple was an all day joy on Thursday. She visited with one of the couples she sees every week and found that he is an 8th cousin and she is a 13th cousin. Interesting.

Today Architect and Builder were helped immensely by a head builder! Concrete deck blocks and sand were purchased at the local building supply guild. A senior discount was given, which was appreciated. Back at The Hermitage, rocks were shoveled and moved, pavers were laid, things were set up to begin the deck work. We have gathered 8 doors with glass in them for the three sides. To say ALL of us in The Hermitage are EXCITED would be an understatement. Decorator has many items ready to decorate when it is completed. Most have a heart motif. This presents a problem, as many of us in The Hermitage wanted to name the building the "Love Shack" but were told ABSOLUTELY NOT! Hmmm...Photographer is trying to remember to photograph the progress. 

Seamstress has also been working on another hand sewn and beaded project. It is coming along. This was begun at least two years ago and put away. However, IT, as well as four others are on "The LIST" of things to do this year, so she is busy with that.

Queen's brother called today. They talked about the fires. 

Despite the horrific disasters we read about, we are hopeful. Disciple has faith. The rest of us are trying to follow her lead. But we are heartbroken. We feel the losses all of these people are going through and can't even imagine the devastation. We read something this week, and while we don't remember the exact wording, it was something like, "everyone and everything has an hourglass. You never know when the sand will be gone. But someday it will be." Appreciate what you have. Love those around you. Count your blessings. Smile. Be kind. Hug more. Keep going.

 

31 December 2024

Well, here we are, the end of the year. Six more hours until we say goodbye to 2024. The fireworks have already started close by, as we can hear them. Some of them are HUGE. As we ponder past 70 New Year’s eves, we don’t remember going anywhere really. Not like they show in the movies. Now and then we have gone to friend’s homes and played games. We’ve even had some over to The Hermitage for food and games. But not recently. We are not “party animals.” We are NOT anti-party, anti-social, but we ARE wallflowers. We go to things because we are “expected” to be there, but we sit in the corner. IF someone comes to sit with us, we LOVE to visit and talk, but we have a hard time. We always have. It is a struggle for all of us. People don’t “think” it is for us, but IT IS. Just trust us.

Chauffeur took Shopper to the Super Store this morning. She got everything on Chef’s list, and a tad more.

Chef received the bags with enthusiasm and got to it. She was busy for a couple of hours. She made crab dip, macaroni salad, deviled eggs, coleslaw, “eggroll in a bowl,” and broccoli and cauliflower cheese soup. We already had a bottle of Martinelli’s, ginger ale, and Fanta Strawberry soda. AND Shopper bought a bag of Cheetos, as everyone in The Hermitage LOVES them. So, Chef has us ready to snack later. We did try the “eggroll in a bowl,” for lunch, and a bowl of soup for dinner. Both were great. Chef used all of the green onions, even on something where they weren’t called for, AND didn’t have them for something that DID call for them. Chauffeur took Shopper to the smaller market close by, and she stood in line for them. Then when it came time to pay, the woman she had been talking to behind her, told the cashier she would pay for the green onions! All of us were excited. She was, Shopper was, and the cashier was dumbfounded. It really wasn’t much, monetarily, but the gesture was huge.

Movie Buff has had three movies on so far today, Pollyanna…YES, we ALL weep at the end. EVERY…SINGLE…TIME. And there have been many times over the years. Then we watched The Parent Trap. The old one. And yes, we cry with that one too. We are now at the very end of The Swiss Family Robinson. Seems Movie Buff has a thing for the “Mill’s” family today. Writer wonders IF That Darn Cat will come up next? Or The Moonspinners? Well, she just put on Blackbeard’s Ghost! Maybe pirates are the theme? But That Darn Cat was a close second.

Facebook is interesting in that you can look back on your “memories” from past years. We have found this fascinating. For instance, on the same day for several years, it rained. Or, we did the same things, or the same things happened. Today for instance, the same words were used, “WOW! What a difficult year. Let’s hope next year is better!” Hmmm…

2024 was a trying, difficult year in MANY ways, however, it was also GREAT in many ways. A very good friend just posted the following quote. "Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful." ~L.R. Knost So true! Life is a basic roller coaster. None of us in The Hermitage are very fond of roller coasters anymore. We’ve had our share of riding on some very famous ones, and are over it. WAY over it.

And so, when we look back, we are SO thankful and SO blessed! We are focusing on that. The other stuff is just that, stuff. We have seen miracles this year. We have experienced countless blessings. We’ve made it through trials with trust and faith. THAT is what we are going to remember. We are SO thankful that this is the year we retrieved our things from the storage unit and have no longer had that bill hanging over our finances. Financier is VERY thankful for that. Every day we are thankful for that chapter being closed. And thankful for those who helped so much.

Last night Organizer spent time updating the new blank 2025 calendar by writing EVERYTHING that ALL of us in The Hermitage will need to know going into the New Year. Today she proposed a new “chore” chart for The Hermitage. We all agreed that it “should” work well. Some of us smirked. Some winked. But we were given the “eye” and ALL straightened up.

Some of the things she has planned for us are just getting us ALL back on track. With retirement came adjustments. Some of us became slackers. Well, Organizer has said, that is enough of that. Time to get our acts together. And so we will do our best.

Gardener will be getting gardens going, fixing the compost area, and continuing to keep up with things. She needs to get with Lumberjack on the pile of firewood we have recently accrued.

Disciple had a scripture regimen she started in the fall of 1991 with daily scripture reading in the morning. She did that up until January of 2023, when she was challenged to read Jesus the Christ. Yes, she “could” have done both, but didn’t. Now she is out of her routine and needs to get her act back together. So, that is on the list.

Builder has the plans drawn for the “Love Shack” in the backyard. However, she has also been told she ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT call it that…Under ANY circumstances, etc. So, she and Gardener have decided to call it something else, but haven’t come up with any ideas. They are still going to decorate it with hearts and flowers, and everyone will relax in it. If anyone has any ideas for a cute name, let us know. We will get Painter to design and paint a cute hanging sign.

The list for Seamstress includes making a couple of Temple dresses, as well as use up some fabric for other wearing apparel. She also has 6 boxes of old jeans to use for something. She is pondering a long jean jacket.

Quilter will be making table runners, other small quilts, and who knows what else.

Crafter and Painter are going to combine their skills, and get all the wood “PHD’s” (projects half done) out and finish painting them.

There is hope for Scrapbooker and Historian going through photos, memorabilia, etc., and putting books together. This is something that has been on hold for a couple of reasons. One, a lot of the stuff needed was in the “storage” as well as the stamping stuff. NOW it is all here and ready to go.

Organizer is still going through boxes. She went through a box filled with 50 years of Christmas cards. WOW! That was interesting. The furniture, for the most part, is moved. Our backs hurt, and we have bruises, but things are down to mostly boxes. The kitchen is at 90% now. Chef and Baker, as well as Scullery Maid are thankful for that. They can now function at a normal pace. They would still like the ceiling to be finished, the crown molding, and knobs on the upper cabinets. Oh, and the ceiling fan/light over the table. THEN the floor will have to be done. Painter needs to paint the three bedrooms, but that will happen hopefully later this year.

There are small projects to do. Go through the recipes for Chef and Baker. Recipes have been printed off and just shoved in cookbooks. This is unacceptable to Organizer. Something will be done.

A HUGE project is the garage. OH…MY…GOSH!!! That will be tackled an hour at a time until it is done.

Historian is still working on Family Trees. Several of them. She has fun doing that.

Disciple works at the Temple on Thursdays, and is now the Stake Just Serve Specialist. More to find out about that this year. She also works with the 8-11 year old girls twice a month.

The piano is in need of playing, and now that we have all of our music, with a new hymnbook coming soon, that will be something we will enjoy hearing.

We will ALL be walking more, and playing more. Traveler will also be taking a trip, maybe more, and she is more than excited about that!

So, as we sit here, listening to the early fireworks, and close out this year with four hours left, we wish you ALL a very happy new year. May you all be blessed with the things you need. Let us find the joy in life. Let us look for the good in people, and everything that happens. Have faith and trust. Be grateful. Be true. Be humble. Be prayerful. Be happy.

 24 December 2024

This has been a very different Christmas in some ways. Yet it has been similar to a few Christmases long ago. Please know that ALL of us in The Hermitage are just fine. This year has just been "different" in so many ways. Several of us have talked to others who feel this was a difficult year. They, as well as all of us in The Hermitage, hope that next year will be different. 

Decorator did NOT decorate. There is no tree. There is no nativity. No wreath. No bells. No candles. No garland. No gifts. No stockings. No nothing. There ARE lights out front in the yard. They are pretty and remind us of years past. We have enjoyed them. Decorator is NOT a scrooge. None of us are. Things just didn't happen this year.

Correspondent didn't send out Christmas cards. Yes, THIS is unusual. Perhaps Happy New Year cards are in order? Time will tell. She did get out the Christmas cards, but time slipped by.

Seamstress did no sewing.

Builder didn't make any cute things. 

Crafter and Artist did do anything.

Baker and Chef DID make treats and gave them to others. This is a tradition that goes WAY back to when Queen was a child. The Queen Mum always made treats, and plates of goodies were taken to the neighbors. The tradition of the "fruitcake" however, stopped with The Queen Mum. 

As we look back on this year, we are overlooking the rough spots and have focused on the blessings, joys, triumphs, and things we just got through because ALL of us in The Hermitage persevered. We have decided that we are SO blessed. We know the true meaning of Christmas, and that means more to us than anything else. We get together with family frequently, and that means everything. We have The Hermitage, and enjoy incredible comforts within it, and in the yard. We've had food to eat all year. We've been blessed to enjoy good health. We have incredible neighbors and friends. We have faith, hope and our beliefs. We really want for nothing. The things we have prayed for have been given to us. Disciple has had the opportunity to serve in the Temple for a year now and that has been an incredible blessing. Yes, WE are ALL blessed, and humbled by all of the blessings. 

We are thankful that God loved us SO much, He provided a way back. He gave ALL of US His only begotten son. 

All of us in The Hermitage wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Season's Greetings, and Happy New Year. May you find how you've been blessed, and overlook the trials and challenges. Most of us are blessed far more than we think of daily. 

 20 December 2022

On November 20th, 2022 the Hermitage took “the” hit. The following week none of us felt like eating or drinking, bringing the “group” even further down a discouraging path of despair that we knew.

This is NOT a plea, or anything else, for anything really. Several people have questioned our disappearance (THANK YOU), and while we are still recuperating, Writer is going to try and convey thoughts, experiences, epiphanies, realizations, blessings, etc. This may be long.

On November 25th we were taken to Urgent Care, by a great friend; multiple tests, liquids, etc., where we were told all tests came out perfect and our diagnosis was—we have “L O N G” covid. Since then many others have enlightened us on their experiences with this post covid disability, which experiences we have welcomed with an open mind, and embraced many of them. We did not experience some of the well-known symptoms; fever, runny nose, aches, pain, headaches, etc. We have basically experienced loss of appetite, shakes, some dizziness, lethargy, and basically debilitating energy. This has taken EVERYTHING out of ALL of us here at the Hermitage.

Employee tried to work; Monday went okay, for the most part, Tuesday and Wednesday, she only made it halfway, Thursday went fairly well and because it went SO well, we ALL thought we were passed this, ONLY to have Friday end up back at square one, and worse. Dignity Health came by the house, did a blood test, and various other evaluations. Everything was fine. They told us we just need to “rest” and lay low. EGADS!!! Employee is out until January of 2023. Frustrated, especially since grades were due on the 16th of December and it turned out that she is the only one who could run the grades report. She continually checked the grades on the 15th and 16th, reporting on the posting process, which was completed a little after 3PM, and we were SO thankful.

Writer has been trying to journal; handwriting is shaky and the shaky hands hit double on the keyboard, making a red squiggly line under everything. She is VERY frustrated by all of this. She looks at her handwriting, which used to bring “A’s” in penmanship, and wonders how or IF Calligrapher will ever be able to do that again? Please excuse anything you may spot.

The following is in no particular order. Writer has jotted notes as they have come to her.

Patient has NO patience for this. She, as well as the rest of us here, are frustrated, weary, yet have found GREAT compassion and love for others who deal with health issues on a daily basis, month after month, year after year. We honor you, and Disciple has included you even more in her prayers. We can’t imagine what you are dealing with. May God bless you. Patient is going to work with the rest of us in helping us get our strength back and getting us all back in working order.

In order to rest, you basically do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This has proven quite difficult for most ALL of us in the Hermitage, as most of us are usually quite active. So, Movie Buff took over, for the most part. We don’t always agree with what she picks, but none of us have much fight in us at this time, so…She has had us watching 7 seasons of Good Witch—SEVERAL times over, old/new movies, squirrel obstacle courses 1.0 and 2.0, some new movies, Christmas movies, Christmas devotionals, and of course Music and the Spoken Word programs and specials. We’ve also watched some ancient ruin documentaries, scripture programs, and when on YouTube, whatever comes up next.

Reader read two books one weekend-The Christmas Box Miracle: My Spiritual Journey of Destiny, Healing and Hope. We ALL felt she was inspired to read this at this time. She’s had it for years, but picked NOW to read it. God's timing is incredible. She also read The Letter. Both old books and both written by R. P. Evans. She was challenged to read Jesus the Christ by Talmadge a few weeks ago, and while she started it decades ago, and never got far, she is on chapter 9. This is NOT an easy read, and with the somewhat “foggy” brain from this post-covid, she is struggling, but keeps on truckin’.

As we have been convalescing, we have been abundantly blessed. Queen’s daughters have brought food, company, electrolytes, treatments, etc. They have been consoling and have blessed us all in many ways. They sat in the ER waiting room for hours. Queen’s sons have supplied moral support and inspirational advice. The oldest came over and watered plants for Gardener. We have had well wishes in the form of text messages, emails, phone calls, messages on Facebook and neighbors have come over to bring things, check on us and see if we need anything. Fresh homemade chicken noodle soup was also provided. To say we have been blessed is an understatement. Tears have flowed freely as love has been shown so overwhelmingly. Compassion, concern, love, blessings have come from family (my own and Church family), friends, neighbors, coworkers, and many others. Thankful is not enough to express feelings. Each came at an apropos time…Gods time.

One of the things we were told by two AMAZING nurses at the ER, was to sit in the sun for half an hour every day. So, being the overachievers we are, every morning we sit out front in our fuzzy pj’s and robe for an hour or two, between 9:30 and noon. This has proven beneficial in many ways. We’ve visited with many neighbors on our cul-de-sac, as well as neighbors who walk our street from other streets in the “Estates.” This has been extra special for Board Member. Yes, we have a “new” person in the Hermitage, she is a new HOA Board Member; she has met people who live in other parts of the Estates, who walk their dogs, ride their bikes, drive or just walk by, and she runs some things by them, which the board is considering. One neighbor stopped and prayed for us, and told us about “grounding”, which we have heard of. Probably in one of Movie Buff’s YouTube assorted shows. So, each morning as we sun ourselves outside in the 39º- 45º weather, NOW we remove our slippers and socks and put our feet in the grass, and “ground” ourselves with mother earth. Many of these encounters proved to be God's timing.

As we sat outside last week, one of the many delivery people who bring packages to our homes, dropped one off here. It was from Queen’s brother in Texas. An unexpected bottle of a debated “medicine” he thought we could try. God's timing. We have been intrigued, and have considered, all of the suggested “remedies”, ideas, and thoughts from others. Another neighbor brought a cup of rice atole last week and pineapple atole tonight. We even tried cutting an onion in half and putting it on the nightstand. That was far too close, as our eyes were burning, so we moved it a little further away. Within half an hour it was back in the kitchen. WOW…powerful onion. We have found that our taste and smell has been overly enhanced by all of this. Spices and herbs are stronger as we eat and we can smell even more acutely than before.

We are grateful for all of the remedies, inspiration, prayers, thoughts, treats, blessings, well-wishing, and everything else.

Correspondent has had time to unsubscribe to a LOT of unnecessary emails we were getting on a daily basis.

We gained a greater appreciation for Gardener and Landscaper. As we sit in the yard, the smell of the roses, lavender, jasmine, rosemary, lemon thyme, alyssum, etc. fill the air as the breeze drifts by. Several times Birder has been excited by just how close the birds fly close to her. Hummingbirds have hovered within 18”, a mockingbird hopped almost as close, as did a yellow finch. The cat next door has finally allowed us to pet him and that was thrilling. We have found a new appreciation for a simple life and the simple things. We are thankful for a home, the comforts and conveniences of a home, yard, flowers, life, and health. Among many other things. The list is long and as we sit each morning, the list continues to grow. More of God's timing.

We pondered, and discussed, WHY in our youth we spend so much time working to buy “things”, which in our latter life we no longer want, need or care about? AND what are we going to do with all of it? Come over, there may be something you want. We thought about what is important in life, and what isn’t. What happens to it when everything is said and done? We pondered giving up all we do…and then when we felt better, regrouped. The conversations were varied, long, crazy, and weird.

Decorator, Shopper, Queen, Grandmomma, and the rest of us in the Hermitage are saddened by the lack of decorations, and spirit of NO Christmas in the domicile. This in NO way means we are seeking others to come over here and do things. Please do NOT take it that way. We are fine. Truly we are. There have been times in past years where this has happened for one reason or another, and we have survived. After all, “It came without ribbons: It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags! Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! “Maybe Christmas,” he thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!” And it does. Disciple reminds us of this often. Christmas is something we carry all year. Jenny and Angelo brought over a dwarf evergreen the other day, which Gardener and Landscaper already know where they want to plant in the yard.

Chef misses cooking, although two days ago threw some things together and it came out amazing. We ALL hope she will remember how she threw it together. Baker thinks often of baking as this is when she usually does some heavy duty baking, but next year she will hopefully make up for it. Correspondent hasn’t been able to do Christmas cards…her hands are too shaky.

Then there were the daily/nightly “mind games” this illness brings. And it does bring them. The demons came out and messed with us, more often than we would have liked. Sometimes ALL night long, which were devastatingly LONG, and disturbing. Oh the thinking and overthinking. Things we “need” to do and “have” to do, and things we “want” to do. Long lists. Sleepless nights. Chef was over it one night and at 1:30AM was peeling potatoes for potato soup. The rest of us thought it sounded great, so we didn't protest or think it was crazy. Things would have been fine had she not put the crockpot on high. We did not have potato soup. But the demons were strong some nights. The voices would say, “You are dying. Just…and get it over with.” Movie Buff heard several times a line from a movie, “Bring out your dead!” And then the voice, “I’M NOT DEAD…YET!!!” The battles were heavy, but no casualties. With Disciples help, and our inner strength from angels on both sides of the veil, we fought the demons. We are NOT dead. We have a long way to go and while this has been one of our greater battles, we are winning. We will win. We have so many on our side in this battle and we are SO THANKFUL. God sent them. His timing is so specific. So perfect.

We are more than grateful for the testimony Disciple holds within her heart and spirit. She has carried us during this challenge. Her strength is stronger than any of us realized. As we’ve “rested” for the last month, many challenges, trials, and discouraging times, were revisited. We realized her great strength, and faith in God, and the Savior. Off and on we scrolled for a few minutes, our wall on Facebook to see what was going on. We read of others who are dealing with far worse than we are. Our compassion grew for others who are going through their individual trials and challenges. Through this, Disciple changed her thoughts and prayers. She is having more meaningful discussions with the powers above. We are intrigued with how God changes us. We were reminded by Queen's oldest, of many things, which we know to be true of Disciple. We have learned from her that all things happen for a reason, and all things have a purpose. We know all things happen according to God's timing. We know God loves us, and the Savior loves us. We know, and celebrate this time of year, the gift God gave to us…His Only Begotten Son, our Savior Jesus Christ.

We are SO THANKFUL AND SO BLESSED. Thank you for your messages, thoughts, prayers, remedies, and countless blessings. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Love to all.

 17 Dec 2017

A short update on my mom.

Yesterday she was finally released from Desert Springs Hospital, where the nurses and CNA’s didn’t want her to go. They wanted to keep her. But after 5 hours and much paperwork, she is settled in her next to final home. Over the last 50+ years she has moved almost every year…and loves to move. I hated it. So, I told her for Christmas she got her wish of moving. She seemed to be happy about it. I was less than happy. For me, it was a very emotional move. It was a move that signaled the beginning of the last chapter she will have here on earth. She’s had many chapters in her life, filled with many people, places and happenings. I was maybe a little selfish, maybe, in not wanting this chapter to come. When I read books, sometimes I read the last page of the last chapter. Yes, call it wrong, but I do it. SO, I know how this chapter ends…and while I know what happens after this chapter, I just didn’t want it to come to this. I wanted her to be able to not go through this part. I wanted her to remember things, be vibrant and social till the end. But that isn’t the case. I wanted “us” to fix the past and have a relationship most mothers and daughters have. But that isn’t the case either. But she is doing okay and this will be okay.

Actually, it was a prayer answered. This is not an easy situation, as those of you who have had the challenge will attest. I’ve had a lot of things to deal with physically and watching what she has been going through has been difficult for me mentally and emotionally. Yet through it all, she has dealt with things smiling and oblivious of what is going on around her, in the world or anywhere else. So, I’ve prayed about what to do. In the last few days, I’ve made and received countless calls from case workers, social workers, friends, family, nurses, CNA’s, hospice advocates, and care workers. Just wanting and trying to do what is right.

Friday morning I prayed for direction. Those of you who aren’t religious may not find any credence to this, but that’s where I go to give thanks, look for direction, answers and anything else. I’ve had a lot of experience with this and I know that prayer works. So, I prayed that I would be guided in finding a place that would be best for her. She was transported to “this place” yesterday. I couldn’t believe it when I got there. She is one of 6 there and I felt so at peace when I got there just before she did. I was doing paperwork and they took her to her room. When I went into the room I was amazed! Her bed is next to the east window…in view of ALL incoming planes! She can look out that window all day and watch the planes land! For those of you who know how she LOVES to do this, you will understand. I KNOW that God knows each of us personally and individually. He knows who we are, He knows our thoughts, our desires, our hearts, and He loves each of us. He has answered my prayers countless times and I’ve been so thankful that this prayer was answered so completely and quickly. At least one of her nurses is LDS and was helpful with questions I had.

As I stood with her in her room, she began talking like she understood and was fine. She said, “You need to clean out my other place and take what is there. It isn’t much, but do what you want with it.” I thought about what was there…her life…all of the places she has lived and been. I thought about all of the places I’ve lived with her and houses we’ve lived in…and all of the moves. Then she said, “Make sure you get my china.” Hmmmm…I would love to. She got this “china” when she got married in the mid 40’s. As a child growing up, I was the one who learned how to hand wash the “special” china. I helped pack the china each time we moved; this china has moved at least three dozen times, twice across the Pacific Ocean. I was the one who set the table with it when we had company. I was the one it was promised to and the one who was supposed to get it at this time in life. So, when she mentioned the china, I thought of where the china is at this time and yes, I’m angry. The people who have it should NEVER have taken it. Family things belong in the family…as these people well know. My aunt asked for a rocking chair that belonged to their father (her brother) when he died. He said she could have it, but wasn’t given the rocking chair. While I know we “can’t take it with us,” I also know that they never ate off that china. My children grew up eating off of the china. They would be the ones who would get it when I leave. This china is really what my mother considers “all” of her earthly possessions. She doesn’t have anything else anymore. With all of her moves, things have been lost, broken or whatever. BUT the china…it was always packed with the greatest care. She treasured this china and I grew up with the same great care for it, knowing that one day I would have it…and then one of my children. So, when she mentioned the china, which not only surprised me, but rattled my nerves, I didn’t know what to say. She made me promise to continue to take care of it and “make sure you wash it by hand!” Okay…would love to have it. Every time we use it, we would think of her. I would think of all of those who ever ate on them. The memories are plentiful and special…sort of like the china itself. The china was something she loved more than anything, and because of that, I have a great love for it.

And just as quickly as she was mostly lucid…she went on to ask if I had seen Otis lately? No, I hadn’t. What about Wendell? No…I haven’t seen him either. Otis was the oldest of the 8 children, and Wendell was two down from her. She had 6 brothers and a sister. All are gone except for my mom and her brother Howard, who is 16 years younger than she.

So, she is doing okay, for the most part. She realizes that she is in that final chapter as well. But she is with others in a small group care home…and can watch the planes all day. I’m so thankful prayers were answered. So thankful she is happy in her own way. I’m glad she isn’t suffering or in pain. I’m glad she is comfortable.

I don't know when or what the next update will be; maybe I will have a special story and more photos. I'll see what I can find.

 16 December 2024

This photo has been on our desktop for over a month. We saw it and it brought back SO many memories and lessons.

Yes, Queen walked with a book on her head MANY times. Head held high. Shoulders back. Stomach in. Feet pointing forward, and one foot in front of the other. You walked gracefully. NO slouching. When walking in heels, the ball of your foot touches the ground first, NOT the heel.

To sit...turn with your back to the seat/chair, and then allow the back of your legs to touch the chair or seat, then gently sit. Legs crossed at the ankles, NEVER the knees. Hands crossed in your lap.

Queen has thought of ALL of the table manners, and all of the certain behaviors one did to be "Ladylike" in life. Do's and Don'ts. The "yes/no ma'am/sir" and please and thank you or no thank you. She was VERY familiar with Emily Post's Book of Etiquette. Children were seen, but not heard. You were polite. You did not talk back. You used proper language. NEVER did you swear. There were certain words you did not use, and they weren't even swear words, BUT highly improper. There were subjects you DID NOT discuss. EVER! What happened behind closed doors, ANYONE'S closed doors, was none of our business. People lived their lives and YOU didn't know about their private lives. It was no one's business. Mind your own business.

Tomboy was NEVER very impressed with all of this, and had very little use for any of it. She was basically out of control. The Queen Mum was NEVER very impressed with the antics of Tom Boy. She was always muddy and dirty from playing in the garden mud puddles or dirt, or greasy from working on cars. The latter infuriated The Queen Mum. Tomboy loves cars. What can she say?!

Model used most of it often. Especially the NO wild nail colors. That was a no-no when doing hand photography.

Now and then some of us in The Hermitage STILL remember, and still do these things. Table manners are ALWAYS used. We wonder IF those who experience hip issues weren't taught to walk a certain way, and that is why they may have these hip problems? Just something we have wondered. We have to work hard and not look at how others do these things, especially when they are NOT in compliance with what The Queen Mum expected. SHE was very critical. Life was not easy, that's for sure. Queen always seemed to be a disappointment to The Queen Mum. The Queen Mum wore hats that matched her outfit, and gloves, with matching shoes and purses. She was always dressed to the nines! She wore "slacks" but they always matched the jacket. Queen STILL remembers when The Queen Mum first wore a pair of jeans! OH MY GOSH! You would have thought the world ended. That was in the early 70's. Right around the time when Scholar was allowed to wear pants to school. Before that, she and the other girls always had to wear dresses or skirts. She would be absolutely horrified to see what Shopper sees when she goes to Walmart. OR anywhere else. Times have changed. Life is different. We are sure there are some places where these things are still the norm. The Hermitage still has "rules" but some are bent. We are over it. IF our Prince arrives, he will have to take us as we are.

 3 Dec 2017

As a woman of age, there are many things on my mind, and have been for some time now. So, I’m going to weigh in on this whole sexual harassment issue. Mind you, these are my opinions and thoughts. I’ve pondered them for some time. I’ve thought about things that happened in high school; no, I’m not going to list any names. I’ve thought of college classes, remarks from other students…and others. I’ve thought of places I’ve been, situations I’ve been in, jobs, work, co-workers, friends, etc. I’ve thought of how we “flirt” when we are young…and old. I’ve thought about foolish things I’ve done which thankfully ended far better than they could have. I’ve thought about guys/men who have whistled at me and I just smiled and waved…like the penguins in Madagascar. I’ve thought about modeling and TV/Movie/commercials and clothes I was asked to wear. Most of the time they were modest and things were fine. A few, I refused to read for and was told I wouldn’t get the part. So be it. Somewhere along the way in these last 62 years I’ve found my “worth” and would never have felt comfortable doing things which are contrary to my spirit.

I must say that I admire the words and courage of Mayim Bialik and Angela Lansbury. They didn’t come out and say what others are saying; they came out with opinions unlike those of many others, opinions much like mine, oddly enough. Here I thought I was the only one. But I am somewhat pleased to be in their company.

So, these are my thoughts as a woman, mother and grandmomma.

Let’s look at ALL the things “geared” towards sex and what drives people…mostly women, to shop for things so they “look sexy.”

First of all there is music. I love music. Most kinds of music. Enter Rock-N-Roll. I took a History of Rock-N-Roll class at CCCC in 1991. Maybe some of you know where the term came from, but on the off chance you don’t, I grabbed one off the net. Just random. If you want to google it, or whatever, feel free to do so. Here’s what wiktionary has to say: “Etymology—From rock (move back and forth) + and + roll; originally a verb phrase common among African Americans, meaning "to have sexual intercourse"; it was a euphemism that appeared in song titles since at least 1914 (Trixie Smith's "My Man Rocks Me With One Steady Roll"). So, if you are listening to RnR all day…as some of us are (me), you are being subjected to a lot of sexual innuendoes. I won’t go in to all of the other music genre’s out there, suffice it to say, it’s pretty much the same more or less.

Next up, billboards. Now I live in Las Vegas, so the billboards here are a far cry from what you may see elsewhere in the world. BUT let me say this. Women are portrayed as objects of pleasure and they are wearing very little. The billboards are more of an invitation than anything else.

A few years ago many of the women I knew were raving about a book—50 Shades of Gray. Why wasn’t I reading it they asked? Well…not my kind of reading material. BUT they all loved it and couldn’t wait for the movie to come out, or the sequel. This is just one book of many. Then there are magazines, newspaper articles, new stories and the like. Have you ever read the way some women advertise themselves in the singles columns of the want ads??? Hmmmm…

I remember when I was growing up and watching TV…and then somewhere that all changed. TV shows changed. Society changed. What you say and couldn’t say changed. And no, I didn’t watch the afternoon soaps, but I know they were and are filled with sex in one way or another. And then there are commercials. Do I dare mention that I don’t eat at one of the fast food restaurants because I just can’t figure out what that girl in a bikini has to do with anything? NOT that this is the only commercial geared towards sex rather than the product. Why is it that companies and advertisers choose sex as a way to sell their products? A burger is NOT a condom! And while we are on the subject of restaurants, what about Hooters? Yes, I’ve heard they have great wings. But they advertise something else. For those of you who have not been to Vegas and waltzed through the casinos, hotels or any other place on the strip, I’m here to tell you that you have gambling…and sex. Yes, there is food and entertainment. But what is the entertainment? I go for the Fountains at the Belliago.

There is a nail salon on the corner advertising “Sexy Nails.” My mom asked how nails could be sexy. I didn’t answer and don’t want to know. Although I have to admit it’s a valid question.

And I’ve gone clothes shopping. How many times have you heard a woman say, “OH! I want this! I will look SO sexy in this!!!” or something very similar. I know there are times when I want to look great in something. I asked Jenny to pick out some glasses for me which would make me look sassy. Not sure that’s the same as sexy. In high school they may have put me in the nerd or geek group. But I like them.

So, it seems that everything is geared towards sex and no one says anything or cares…until someone acts on it. AND it seems that it’s acted upon more than anyone ever thought, or dreamed. Where has everyone been? Hiding with their heads in the sand? This has been going on for centuries. Sadly, some countries have cultures where this is the norm.

It’s funny…sort of, but as I’m writing this I’ve been picturing Dana Carvey as the Church Lady saying, “Satan, Satan, Satan!” While that’s funny and I loved watching the Church Lady, it’s interesting how many things were spot on. The longer I live, the more I have watched these social lines move from one place to the next. NOT that they moved far or fast. For the most part the lines moved a little bit at a time and ever so carefully. But I could see where they were headed and it was more than eminent. Now others are seeing things through different eyes and they don’t like it. But once you move a line, it’s hard to get that back. It’s like the adage, “Give them an inch and they take a mile.” We’ve gone miles from where we were. No one liked where we were and didn’t mind the change…now they do.

Two stories come to mind. The first. There was this guy; a pretty important guy. He was looking out his window and saw a woman bathing. She was beautiful. I don’t think she knew he saw her, but he did. AND he like what he saw. He liked it a LOT. And he sent for her. AND even though she was married and loved her husband a lot, she slept with this guy; as He was important and commanded many. Time goes by and she realizes she is pregnant. So, she goes back to him and tells him. He commands her husband to come home and sleep with her in hopes that things will be okay. BUT the husband is loyal to this guy…this guy who slept with his wife and got her pregnant. Hmmm…the guy doesn’t figure on this. SO, he sends him out to the front lines in the war and he is killed. She ends up marrying this guy…King David. Her name was Bathsheba.

The second story I thought of is about two absolutely decadent cities; so vile, evil and wicked. IF fifty were found to be good, the cities wouldn’t be destroyed; but 50 couldn’t be found, nor could 40, 30 or 20. In the end not even 10 could be found. And so we have the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot and his family, except for his wife we able to leave.

I started working for the CCSD in 1986. I remember hearing a table of 5th graders asking each other who was still a virgin. Was I shocked? YES I WAS! At the time my oldest was a 5th grader. I was horrified. We will fast forward to last week. I’m listening to middle schoolers and how sexually active they are. Random kids having sex with random partners; yes, they are sexually active and see nothing wrong with it. They see sexuality in their video games, movies, TV shows, etc. Some of their parents have never been married and have different partners frequently. Will any of these kids file sexual harassment charges 40 years from now? I doubt it. Having sex means nothing to them. It’s like eating lunch or going to the movies. Their lines have moved so far they never knew there was a line.

Have I heard sexually harassing things at work? You bet; in two school districts, four different Michael’s, 7 catering companies, and many movie, TV, and commercial sets. When I was modeling I heard a lot as well. Some of it’s been directed at me, and some of it has been verbalized to me but directed at others. AND I’ve heard it equally from just as many men as women.

Is there an answer? I have some. I know how I feel about all of this. I know there are weirdos, pervs and freaks. I also know that people will be people. What you allow in your life will be your life. You can be cautious. You can make choices. It’s all up to you. How you act, how you portray yourself, how you speak, how you respect yourself all tells a story. For some their actions, words, dress, etc. is just advertising. I know some of you won’t agree with me. That’s fine. These are just my thoughts and opinions. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’ve expressed my thoughts when I’ve seen a hot guy. Haven’t acted on any of it lately…heck. I don’t know that I ever did. This is the woman who as a teenager never kissed on the first date. Heck. There are guys I went out with who never got a kiss. There was this one guy who did steal one when I didn’t expect it though. I was surprised, and it never happened again.

So, there you have it. I also have my thoughts on where all of this is headed. I’ll hold those thoughts though. Just like I kept all the names quiet.

3 December 2024

Additional thoughts 7 years later.

Yes, this was seven years ago, but thought about for more years than that. Yesterday Organizer found a newspaper clipping from "Dear Abby" that was kept, maybe to be found just at this time. Her answer to the writer about the difference between "having sex" and "making love" was:

"In "having sex," the name of the game is sexual gratification. It's a selfish, physical exercise in which the partner can be a faceless object. (Anyone will do.)

In "making love," one is motivated by a desire to give pleasure, express deep affection and communicate one's feelings of caring. It's the ultimate in sharing. I "making love," the partner must be a special person. (No one else will do.) Love is a metropolis. Sex is a whistle-stop."

The Hermitage is on the outskirts of the "Las Vegas Strip" and the things we SEE when we leave are not unusual to us. BUT might blow the minds of others who live elsewhere. Women's bodies are everywhere. And have very little on. We find it sad. Nevertheless, it is there. To us it is a basic lack of respect. Some women, for whatever reason, have no respect for their bodies, or themselves. THEY make that choice. They consciously choose to exploit themselves. The things they choose to wear OR not wear. They way they walk. The way they talk, etc. THEY put themselves in a position that leads to other consequences. It is a dangerous, and precarious choice.